It’s odd we should make such a big deal about adultery. For all the religion and society’s tut-tutting and head shaking there’s an awful lot of people around being unfaithful. According to this article, over 56% of people in Thailand admitted to cheating. You can’t even argue that it is a sign of the times because it’s always been that way. If both parties were at it, you would call it an open relationship. Well, at least it’s honest. But, when you have made a promise to faithful and sleep with no other, finding out for sure if you are a cuckold can take detective work.
1. Secret Phone Calls and Hidden Histories
Those who are cheating use their computers and phones more often than they used to and guard them as if their survival depends on it. The signs are not positive when your significant other’s phone and the computer suddenly has a pin or when messages or their internet search history is deleted too frequently.
2. You Can’t do Right for Doing Wrong
Cheaters seek to justify their actions and one way is to accuse you. They reassure themselves by saying such things as how when they married you, you looked or acted differently or you’re not ambitious anymore or you don’t appreciate all the amazing things they are doing for you. They use these arguments and similar to provide validation for what they know is wrong and justify looking for fun somewhere else. Often, they spill their inner explanations for cheating by speaking harshly or acting unkindly. A strong sign of cheating is when you are left feeling you can do nothing right.
3. New Routines and an Altered Schedule
If your partner who has never worked odd hours before unexpectedly needs to work late or at weekends, you need to be careful about what they are doing. Likewise, if your spouse never had to take a business trip and out of nowhere finds a need to fly off somewhere for work, this could be an indication they are illicit weekend getaways. Other changes in routine including being home late because of flat tires, faulty batteries, traffic congestion, more time at the gym or being completely absent for hours at a time indicates there could be unfaithfulness. Other clues are forgetting to pick up the kids or forgetting anniversaries and other significant family events.
4. No One Wants to Tell You
You, as the Betrayed Lover, are almost certain to be the last person to find out. Friends of the cheater will know about the affair right from the beginning. Even your own friends are more likely to find out before you do. Being placed in the position of having to deceive you causes these people to feel uneasy when they are around you. Friends of the cheater attempt to avoid you or come across too polite. Your own friends try to avoid intimate discussions with you, and even they might try to make up for holding out on you by being extra nice.
Discovering a Partner Cheating Online
With a number of dating sites and apps becoming available, cheating online has become easier than ever. So many sites can help you find partners who may only be interested in one-night stands. There are others looking for casual relationships and quick hookups only. Whatever you want, you will find it online. In such situations, it can become a bit tricky to confirm if your partner is also up to something fishy. Here are some warning signs:
• As mentioned already, password-protected digital devices could mean your partner might be connecting with strangers for dating or even cybersex. It could mean nothing, but it could allude to something dubious, especially if your partner with their password-protected digital devices is very secretive about when they are online. Does your partner change web pages or close emails the moment you enter the room? Beware! There might be something wrong!
• If your spouse is active on social media but you’re not on their friends’ list, they might be hiding something from you. Even when you’re a friend, it is possible for them to cheat by having secret social media accounts. Getting to know a bit about how your partner uses social networking sites and who exactly is in their social networks might help you understand if your partner is cheating on you.
• Do you notice that your spouse has become a lot more active online quite recently and is quite obsessed with responding to online contacts? If they want to respond to emails, text messages, or Twitter messages almost immediately, know something fishy is going on here. But, it is important to avoid jumping to a conclusion too quickly because they may only be addicted to their phones only. Your spouse may be too active online but they might not have any bad intentions. So, be careful before you become loud about your findings.
What it means is that it really makes sense to wear your detective hat and look for these signs to discover if your partner is up to something out of the ordinary. But, at the same time, you need to consider the other side of the picture too. Even with foresight into the direst of consequences, it is often impossible to just stop and stay faithful. It’s the pressure of defying tradition and convention coupled with strong negative emotions such as guilt and betrayal that puts so much stress on health so perhaps staying faithful is not really in our nature.
Perhaps there’s an evolutionary drive that urges men and women to seek multiple partners. The offspring would certainly enrich our gene pool. So, whatever it is, don’t really get surprised if your seemingly innocent partner becomes guilty of cheating. It can happen to anyone!