Marriage is a very complex thing. It cannot be explained in simple words, but it is the unity of the two people who love each other deeply and want to have a family together. In the beginning, people are very close, share everything, both are very gentle and attentive, but what happens when life becomes too complicated?
Well, too much stress can start to build up especially during challenging times, so that will affect the marriage at some point. While some couples manage to resolve the differences without asking for help from the counselor, others may find marriage counseling very useful. There are numerous advantages and some disadvantages of marriage counseling and we will try to help you better understand both so you can see if that is the right solution for you.
1. The shift of the attitude
Seeking help is the first step towards admitting that something is wrong in the marriage. The fact that you are ready to admit that is huge progress because some people just keep going until it becomes too much and they file for divorce. When you start your therapy, you will be able to truly listen to your partner better and you will be guided by the professional who will be able to tell you more about the thing you can correct to change your attitude towards your partner. Some people are too harsh to their spouses and don’t even realize it. Being able to consciously think about the issue will help you to adjust your behavior, but also help your partner when you see there is an issue that can be resolved by itself.
On the other hand, this can also mean that the partners will realize that they have grown too much apart over the years which may actually speed up the divorce. However, even though this may sound too scary for you, you should know that this rarely happens. In most cases, people start to change once they realize that they were misreading the signals and were actually responding from the position of someone who has been hurt in the past. It is necessary to clarify the misunderstandings and help you overcome some issues you have been dragging from the past.
2. More quality time together
Spending an hour together in counseling every week will remind you of the times when you used to spend days together just enjoying each other’s company. When a couple starts raising kids, their needs start becoming the priority. Since women carry the biggest burden, they usually get really tired at some point which leaves very little strength for leisure time. It is necessary to identify the moment when you are starting to be overwhelmed by everything and seek help accordingly. Timing is truly important and you can click here to find out more.
On the other hand, spending too much time together may be an issue too. The recent global issue with COVID 19 has impacted greatly numerous people around the world and together with the virus pandemic, the divorce pandemic started as well.
It is important to understand that counseling can help you to start working as a team with your partner instead of fighting. Find a way to create a routine even if you both work from home. Do the things you enjoy together. Make a tasty meal, watch a movie, and simply enjoy spending time together. Look at it as your opportunity to get to know your spouse better again.
However, the downside of counseling may be the fact that people think that is some kind of magic wand that will resolve all their issues. That is not how it works. You and your partner will be guided in ways how to improve your communication, resolve conflicts, and understand what is important to your partner. Making small efforts continuously is the only way how you can bring back the intimacy and true closeness into the marriage.
3. You will learn how to overcome the issues
Learning new coping techniques will surely help your marriage. Communication is the key and spouses tend to forget sometimes to talk simply because they are too tired or they expect that someone will read their mind. That is not possible, so just realizing how to discuss the issues you have in a calm and respectful manner is the initial step towards resolving all the problems you have piled up.
On the other hand, some people hold too much grudge, so it becomes too hard to resolve everything. As previously mentioned, knowing when to seek help is crucial. Waiting until the issues become too serious may mean the end of your marriage. It is necessary to understand that you and your partner will be responsible for going back to the loving place in your life. The counselor will just be the guide if you are ready to open up and genuinely address the issues.
Understanding that marriage needs to be nurtured is the initial step towards making a positive change in life. The fairy tales we were told while we were growing up are simply that – fairy tales. Real-life is something else. The unconditional love perhaps exists but it is not as romantic as it sounds. It involves true work every single day. We all know how one wrong word can spark up a huge fight.
There are so many factors that can impact how your marriage will go, so it is necessary to upgrade your communication skills, learn the love language, what your spouse loves and what is irritating, and to simply do your best to overcome the differences you may have. While some couples think that having a child may help you forget about your issues, it is not the real solution and may cause even better issues.
This is why it is necessary to seek counseling even before starting a family if you think that some things could be better. All in all, there are more advantages than disadvantages and numerous couples around the world have managed to stay together with the right help. Equip yourself with the necessary skills for a successful marriage with professional marriage counsellors at A Kind Place.